Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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your mum

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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