Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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