Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

thumb_up thumb_down

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

thumb_up thumb_down

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops