- Anti Joke

To you to which this may concern: Nero Septimus, known as Nero7, left me in charge of the order, while I know many do not consider me a worthy leader, I share if but one trait except humanity with Nero7, I could not care less about what you care about me, you WILL follow me if you want, and likewise GTFO if you do not, Nero7 told me that his mistake was allowing too many people follow him half assed, taking advantage of his wisdom and then mock him for the advice that was beyond what you where able to understand... ...It is this that led to the downfall of the old order, all we can do now, is to gather those of you that want to follow me, his chosen successor to the letter, or I will kick your fucking ass out of the Order, because as you do know if you listened: "We do not do mistakes, if we accept that what we are actually making, are experiences, then we have simply learned something new, and if said experience is unpleasant, we accept that we have simply learned how to never experience it again" So I will allow no one to take advantage of me, to laugh behind my back, not without breaking your skull, and allowing you to watch as I shut your family inside your own home, and set fire to it, Treat me well and we can together design our future to our liking, treat me bad, and your future on earth ends where you stand, zero tolerance, so consider your actions well... ...This as I will rather follow my ancestors line alone, than with scum like those of you that react in shock as you read this statement, remember that it was your own goddamn fault that he died, and that while he never told us his true age because he did not know himself, this was because he was beaten so badly as a kid, that he one day lost much of his memory... To the contrary of common belief, he was merely 31 years old according to several tests, and despite many of your comments, his IQ which he never shared because he just as me believes if fucking bullshit, was of 178, a fucking genius, to those of you that are fucking stupid enough to care... ...Those of you that are NOW going "OMG HE WAS TRULY A GENIUS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING NUMBER!" Will NEVER RETURN if you are concerned for your life and the safety of your family. I might not wear an fist made of steel, but as all of those of you that attended to his funeral and read his last will, the order is no longer a place for those that want to follow me half assedly. In other words, those that want to follow me, are from today under my rule, and I need no said prosthetic, because I will not only lead, but also rule with an iron fist. For what you allowed to happen, which cost the life of many of out kin, including the one of our wise young and talented leader, I expect absolutely no one to return to our last stronghold at the hour you can fucking decipher yourself from this statement alone. ...So know that if you respected the greatest leader there where, you will follow me, and that since our order has no room for failure, those that might return and "fail" to follow the new rules, the new order, will either willingly face the consequences which consist of very unpleasant experiences and then leave, or not meet up at all. I need none of those that failed our great leader whose failures led to his death and the death of countless of our own kin, so my goal will be finding new people, this does not mean that those willing to bow down before me and tell me you have learned from your fucking mistakes, will not be given a chance anew. Still ladies and gentlemen formerly of the order of old, know that I am not alone, know that while we are few, we still consist of those that would never dare laugh his back, and that we are powerful enough to grow beyond what the rest of humanity has, and will ever see, And that if you decide to follow us, the council, and me as its leader, then neither you will be alone. We accept mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but accepting failure, and failing to follow us on purpose, will cost you far more, than what you alone can pay with. "If we fall, we rise again wiser and stronger, having learned by our experiences, for what are we, if we keep making those experiences does not matter, what matters is knowing that if we do the same mistakes, we will one day be no more" Nero Septimus,

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

su algato es en fuego

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops