Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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