A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops