Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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