Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops