What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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AIDS

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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69

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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