Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

AND

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops