TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Knock knock.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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