Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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