A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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