Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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it

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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