Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Daniel is a fag

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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