Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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