Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Daniel is a fag

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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