How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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