What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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noodles

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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make me a sandwich!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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