Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +36

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops