Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ok

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Committing Suicide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

UN

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops