justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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