What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Caramel Boing.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops