Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

my wife out of the kitchen

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

flavin's head

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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