Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

SUCK MY NUTS

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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