Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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I Have a Black Friend

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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