A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Two Black men, one wearing a blue shirt, and one wearing a red shirt, Jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The one in the blue shirt

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

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