Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's big and black? A black fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops