whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops