Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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