How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Men

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Women's rights.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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karn chevalier

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops