Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Julian Ha.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Weaner

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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