What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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