What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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