There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Your adopted.....

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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run farther?

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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