Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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