What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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