A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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