a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops