One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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