whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops