Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What's 2+2? Fish

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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baloney sandwich

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops