Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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