A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Turkeys are obese

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Poop...

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops