How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops