Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Hey Eduardo Luis Torres Guerrero 36 years old of age formerly living somewhere in Washington DC (ill get an update on what the name of this place is) and the only Pedophile (in the world?) Somehow with three fucking last names. I do not like you "Edward Lewis Richardson" (yeah thats the name we know him the best by people, this is fraud in addition to everything else), you got the cops to raid my home, you got me in handcuffs because you started the rumors that I was injecting cocaine, into my stomach... Which makes as much sense as... Nothing. I am out now, asshole, its Insulin, but you know that already, since you stole my insulin pens apparently in order to inspect them (they are not even needles technically) from my office and threw them away probably since they both say insulin, and proceeded to spread rumors. (we got footage you know) Did I mention that our private detective which is gathering information regarding you as we are about to sue you (do not worry about your wife, she is divorcing you after I told her that you personally told our private detective while piss drunk that you have 11 STD`s (hell I never even heard of that many) all of them contagious, it was my moral obligation among other things. As said we are filing a case against you. Also, the work laptop on your office is not your property, and neither are the files on them (work policy) and while you have an astounding collection of pornography, they found some illegal porn including minors. Needless to say, your request for a promotion is denied, you are fired, our policy allows us to withdraw your Christmas bonus (leaving you in the negative sum, they want your car back for repossession. We are suing you while you rot in jail, your life sucks, and as soon as our detective finds out more about you, I am going to post this wherever I want for all of my staff and your family to see. And you should know how much our staff loves gossip, most of our male staff are pissed at you and want you dead and worse, this "worse" is a thing prison inmates will do to guys like you once you get there. (Sorry colleagues, employees and etc, this is all the info we got for now... Well he sells marijuana, uses cocaine (what do you know!?) is a member of an active ring of men that engage in sexual activity with male animals, his rolex is faker than his "brand new" Audi which is clearly a model from 2001, because it looks like shit and clearly states 2001 several places. And yeah staff members, I know much of this is hard to believe... Or is it? I can add more (I WILL add more) he owes money to the Russian mafia. Thats it for now, the police has not found him yet Consider this my payback Edward Lewis, I asked the cops if It was okay for me to post this, after saying "oh we know where he is, but I would not say it is morally right for you to post his personal information". Then I started typing this. This information is not personal, its what we wound on our laptop in what was your office, its what your wife is telling me as I help her move to... I wont say, its only right. And no you monster, its not at her mothers again. You know what? The information his computer alone gives us, just gets sicker and sicker, In case you are wondering who I am I am your lead attorney and supervisor, I know a thing or two about the law, and believe me, I am not the one breaking it when I share this Eduardo... (sicker as a large order of non humanoid shaped dildos, pictures of... I dont want to make out what that is... Anyways the laptop is taken into police custody as we speak, and the police will continue searching every single computer, so move away from the screen, anyone found deleting stuff will probably be associated with Eduardo, so if you have you know been watching porn or whatever, leave it be its against the rules but after this its nothing. Anyway, I am about to throw up now so I am off. Okay everyone get back to work I need to go throw up.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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