Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops