Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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star wars kid

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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