My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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In an all out brawl between the casts of Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and the Brady Bunch, who would be the winner? The Viewer

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops