"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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