Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Why couldnt the boy hang out with his friend? because when he called his friend to ask him to hang out he had badd cel phone service. so he went to the other room to call him on his landline but unfortunately his parents have had a rough month at work and therfore could not pay the bill and having there phone lines cut off. this left his only option to mail him a letter asking if he wanted to hang out. he spent about 4 hours writing the 10 page letter asking his friend if he wanted to hang out. when he was finished writing the letter, he went to the drwer to find an envelope and a stamp. unfortunately no envelopes or stamps could be found. so the boy had to walk down town to the post office to pick some up. he had to walk bc since his parents have been having a rough time at work, theyve been working extra hours to help put food on the table and give their son the educaion he needs to become succesful in his life. wen he gets back from the post office with the supplies he needed to mail the letter, he put it in the mail box and put the flag up. but the mail had alreeady come that day so he had to wait tilll monday for the letter to be deliverd since tommorow was sunday and everyone knows that the mail does not come on mondays. when the mail came, the mailman took the letter and eventually deliverd it. he knew it was deliverd bc he traveld online but since there was no internet connection because of his parents failing to pay the bill, he had to go to the library to use the computer. the boy waited a week but his friend never wrote back. so his only other option to find out if his friend wanted to hang out was to simply walk over to his house and ask him in person. since the boy was a little impatient and hess been waiting several day for an answer, he decided to run over instead of walk. as he was approaching his friends house, instead of walking all the way around the road to walk on the cross walk he figured it would take alot less time to just cross the road right then and there. as he stepped onto the road a huge bus sped right by him, almost hitting him. this startled the boy. the boy walked up to his friends door, knocked, and the boy answerd. he asked if he wanted to hang out and his friends said no, pushed him into the street, and the boy was hit by a drunk driver. the boy was rushed to the hospital where they barely just saved his life. although his life was saved he was forced to live on life suppport for the rest of his life. 3 months into being on life support, the same friend came to visit him in the hospital. his friend says, u wanna no why i didnt wanna hang out with you? and the boy said yes. so his friend says "well...." the friend then pull the plug on the boys life support and the boy dies

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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