If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

knock knock who's there? faith

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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